Singapore kampung boy reaches new heights

There can be miracles, if you believe.

Lyrics from the soundtrack of "Prince of Egypt" movie rings true for Mr Toh Hong Giep.

Last week, Mr Toh graduated from the inaugural class of Tsinghua-INSEAD EMBA Programme. It was a proud moment for his family as he finally received his postgraduate certificates from two of the world's most prestigious schools.

"I still can't believe I graduated with EMBA," Mr Toh said. "It's quite unbelievable."

Indeed, Mr Toh had neither the family pedigree nor high-flying academic record to even give him any advantage to getting enrolled in the course.

Childhood was largely spent building tree houses using loose wooden planks left around by his father, who ran a small construction company. He recalls fond memories of being chased by dogs - of which scars still remain, climbing and falling down from trees and picking durians in the backyard.

He claims that he took his primary school leaving examinations (PSLE) without realising that it was a national-level examination that would determine the standard of secondary school he would go to. His parents apparently did not know which schools to choose and he filled up the decision forms after a chat with his best friend. 

Mr Toh scored well enough to secure a place at the Chinese High School, a premium secondary school in Singapore. Much of his four years were spent at the courts playing a myriad of ball games, like basketball, volleyball and badminton. Academic success continued not to be a priority.

Those formative years were also spent honing his mahjong skills. Mr Toh recounted a memorable day:

"It was during our 'O' levels exams and we met at a friend's place to play mahjong after school. We played the whole night through 通宵, as is usual for mahjong games. 

"As dawn breaks, one of the guys said, 'Don't we have a paper today? I think it's chemistry.'

"Good thing we were still in our school uniforms so we ate our breakfast and went to school together. I got an A," he grins.

Again, Mr Toh scored good grades and spent the next two years at Hwa Chong Junior College, another top school in Singapore. He aced his 'A' level examinations and went on to read Computer Science at the National University of Singapore.

After the passing of his father in his late-teens, Mr Toh supported himself through university. While his uncle provided for his tuition fees, Mr Toh took on odd jobs to earn pocket money. He exercised physical strength by moving electronic equipment or exhibition panels, cultivated his negotiation skills hawking vegetables and improved interpersonal skills giving private tuition.

Mr Toh began his professional career with a government ministry. Although his performance was regularly ranked at the top, he was not satisfied with his prospects. He thought it was not fruitful to bond himself to the organisation just to attend an overseas conference, neither was it fair since colleagues who had obtained government scholarships did not have their bonds correspondingly extended.

Since joining Nokia in 2001, Mr Toh has had his fair share of travelling. At the last count, he has visited over 40 cities in more than 20 countries. To be fair, not all were for business. He enjoys travelling and exploring new places with his wife of 10 years, Ms Han MZ.

"The kids and I are rather glad now that the company imposed a travel freeze in view of the economic crisis," says Ms Han. 

"We hope to travel together more often but let's see."

Despite spending much time on the road, Mr Toh continues to develop strong and long-lasting friendships. He is affable and cares about his friends without making judgments. People who have not seen or heard from him for some time would come up to him to shake his hand, pat his back or go for a coffee or a meal.

To friends familiar with Mr Toh, he is really a laid-back kind of guy who just wants to relax over a cup of cappucino. He would like to blend in with the crowd but he catches the attention of his bosses and is often thrust into leadership roles.

In 2000, Mr Toh took a break from work to attend a three-month development course at his church Trinity Christian Centre. Called the Alpha Track, participants learn to study the Bible and put some principles into practice. 

"Yeah, he went out every morning and sometimes come home with assignments," Ms Han recalls. "He doesn't seem very busy or stressed."

He was awarded the Best Tracker of his class. He joked that the organisers just couldn't pinpoint any exceptional attributes so they presented a generic title. 

Mr Toh makes achieving look effortless. Even while putting long hours and plenty of hard work he does not forget to spend time with his family and keep his humour.

The love for adventure took Mr Toh on his first expedition to Inner Mongolia, China in 1999. In those days, getting there took almost 2 days, starting with a flight from Changi Airport to Beijing, followed by train and finally bus. Stacking bricks to build a school using bare hands and basic tools and living in backward conditions (toilet was a huge pit dug and shared by all 20 team members) was a memorable experience. 

Mr Toh seeks adventure although this takes on a different form nowadays. In 2005, he took on his first overseas posting in Beijing and now lives and works in Finland. His family - wife and two young children Estelle and Jules - are faithful members of his exploration team.

Authors of bestselling Freakonomics Stephen J Dubner and Steven D Levitt offer an alternative perspective to economics and statistics.  If the chapter on a child's development track holds any truth, Mr Toh would not have made it to perhaps, university. By the grace and favour of God, he remains the first and only graduate in his family and has now taken another step further.

Miracles do happen.

We have a new President!

If the news networks will have it, they want us to believe that we all are celebrating the installation of our new president.

In CNN's world, nothing else is more important than covering Obama, his campaign and now, his inauguration. CNN tends to put everything else on hold while it covers a single event. The lead-up to the inauguration and the event itself has occupied airwaves for the past 48 hours. I find that BBC gives a more balanced view of news occurring around the world but the channel has disappeared from our TV. It will come back somehow.

I'm suffering from Obama fatigue. So please allow me to let off some steam.

I first heard of Obama 4 years ago soon after Bush was elected to his second term. Bush is often the butt of jokes on late-night comedy shows and I think this one came from Jay Leno.

"You know when Bush came to the office this week, he went through the list of senators elected this year. He was shocked and asked: 'How did Osama get elected into our Senate?' To which his staff replied: ' Eh, no sir. It's Obama, not Osama.' "

Mr Obama rose to prominence from a junior senator to the first African-American running for presidential candidacy (beating Grand Dame Clinton) to the first African-American president of the USA.

It's amazing whichever way you look at it. 

Unlike other bigwigs in politics, many of whom were groomed for their positions, Obama is very much an ordinary man. He didn't have a father or mother with a famous surname, he and his wife took walks in their neighbourhood, went out to their favourite restaurants for dates, sends his own e-mails... Quite like us.

Now he has to give up his Blackberry because US Presidents can be asked to make their e-mail correspondences public under a Privacy Act. . Can you imagine not being able to send/receive SMSes anymore? Or stay in touch with your family, friends or colleagues personally? Obama's life changed totally after his election win. For many past presidents, it's more like moving to a new home in a new state.

Obama's presidency is a major triumph for the civil rights movement in the US. Some weeks before the election, a Finnish MP wrote in the Helsinki Times that although Obama was immensely popular, he didn't believe that Americans could overcome their prejudices to actually vote for a black president.

Voter turn-out of African-Americans was much higher than previous years and their participation made a deep difference to the results. This time, it was worth their effort to exercise their right to vote. Many young people also voted for Obama.

I observed that many of those who come to Washington DC to attend the inauguration celebrations are African-Americans. Or maybe the cameras picked them up more. They were truly exhilarated - many were emotional, streaming with tears - when Obama was sworn in. After decades of suppression, Obama brought them new respect. And new hope.

Said Obama in his inauguration speech: "The time has come... to carry forward... the God-given promise that all are equal, all are free, and all deserve a chance to pursue their full measure of happiness."

Here I am watching the inauguration parade play in front of me as I type. 

CNN's Wolf Blitzer seems to have run out of words. It's hard to keep a live commentary going all day long. 

"President Obama and Michelle Obama have arrived at the White House. They will be viewing the parade later on. For now they can return to their residence or go to the Oval Office, or wherever. He is the president and he can do whatever he wants."

I'm guessing Michelle Obama headed for the nearest loo and drank a large glass of ice water. She'd been standing and walking in those gummy green stilettos for a long time. Towards the end, she looked kinda tired and thirsty, licking her lips many times.

Joe Biden looked like he is seriously enjoying the attention. When Obama and his wife got out of the "tank" and walked along Pennsylvania Avenue, Biden and his family came out to wave to the crowds too. Every 5 steps, he pointed to someone in the crowd, gave them a big smile and mouthed something like "you look great" or "hey, you are here too", many times with two thumbs up. As if he really knew the guy/gal and could spot a familiar faces among the tens of thousands. 

Even after Obama got back into the car and finally reached the White House, Mr Biden was still waving, crossing from one side of the street to the other. Quite like a hyperactive child. Doesn't he know that the crowds came for Obama? He's the Veep.

We know that names are important and they can make a man or woman. It's great to cheer to O-ba-ma. O-ba-ma. Not easy with Bu-shee, or Buy-den or Mak-Kain. 

I'm a cynic when it comes to politics. One can never fully trust what a politician say or do. I tend to think that they say or do is best for the situation and not from their hearts. Their words are carefully weighed according to the audience. Apparently, Obama's speech was written by a 27-year-old spending much time at Starbucks. No, I don't think age is the issue here. I just think that speeches and policies are intensely calculated to yield the best results. 

As the dust from the parade settles, we await Obama's policies and the results expected of him.

A Shot of Tequila

Tequila is a popular drink at pubs, either on its own (straight) or mixed (Tequila Sunrise, anyone?). It is made of agava, a cactus-like plant that looks like aloe vera, and is produced mainly in a region in Mexico called Tequila.

No, no, I'm not going to write about appreciation of tequila. I'm going to tell you about Tila Tequila, an MTV celebrity.

I've heard of the name in some US magazines but the first time I learnt more about her was on an MTV reality series called "A Shot at Love with Tila Tequila". 

I was trying to figure out what the show was about. Imagine with me "The Bachelorette" aka Miss TT and in this episode, five contestants remained. Four men and one woman are vying for her love. Wait, it's actually three men and two women. I've mistaken - one of the "men" is actually a firefighter and she has such a good physique, she'll put some of my guy friends to shame.

So Miss TT  had to choose a mate among these contestants. This time, the challenge was to jump into a pool of chocolate and see who could transfer the most chocolate into their respective pails. The winner would secure a single date with Miss TT while the others had to share a "double" date.

Mr Bobby won a sweet date where they shared canapes beside a fireplace. Inevitably, they made out. 

Time's up. Miss TT changed an outfit and moved on to the next date. With one of the other guys guy and one of the girls. After some small talk, she kissed one of them while the other one watched. Then switched over.

After another outfit change, Ms TT went to her next date with the last remaining guy and a girl. In the jacuzzi, they chatted and made out again in similar fashion. That lucky girrrrl.

Only when I came to Finland do I realise what MTV really is. It's no longer just music videos like they had when I was a teenager. I've read parents complain their little girls gyrate like Fergie and it is only lately do I understand what the fuss was about. What do you think if your daughter dance with an umbrella like Rihanna?

My kids love Hannah Montana and the Jonas Brothers. Their music videos are wholesome so far. What will they be like when they turn 18 or 19? Britney Spears made a turning point around that age.

Like much of Europe, Finland is a liberal country that believes that adults are mature enough to decide what they want or don't want to watch, read or listen. Gone are the barriers nanny states like Singapore and China put up to "protect" its people. In Finland, programmes with adult content are usually screened after 10 pm, assuming that kids should be in bed by then. 

Channel surfing one evening, I thought I was watching a home improvement programme. A pretty girl was moving furniture into a new home and had to decide where to place each item. The next thing I know, the girl was frolicking naked in bed. Oops, I had unsuspectingly stumbled onto Playboy of the Month.

I choose which TV programmes Estelle and Jules can watch. For example,Little I Spy is ok but not Wizards of Waverly Place. My kids will grow up and choose what kind of TV they like, ask for their own computers and have full access to the Net. Are parent-filters effective? They will somehow find out about The Hills or Tila Tequila, won't they?

I wish these years spent with them will build up a strong relationship to weather storms in the future. I pray they will turn out to be grounded kids with all the best qualities in the world. Many of us go through a phase in our lives where we snuck peeks at Playboy or some "blue film". When that time comes, I pray I'll react calmly, even if I'm actually freaking out. Hopefully, the phase comes and goes. 

We can't always shelter our kids under a sanitised biosphere. Some of these are rites of passage we go through growing up. I think I'll be more worried if my kids are kept squeaky clean all their lives. They may not survive bigger challenges or temptations later on in their lives.

We turned out OK, didn't we? We become tougher and stronger because of what we went through. 

PS Tila Tequila's parents are Vietnamese and lived in Singapore before moving to the US. She is Singapore-born. Woah... Singapore can claim another famous personality.

Burnt my fingers

Can you tell they were fish fingers? My first food disaster.

They've been pan-fried already but taste kind of cold. The packaging recommended 10-12 minutes in the microwave oven and I set it to 9.

Good thing we don't have a smoke detector at home. We would have been drenched and colder than those fish fingers before they entered the oven.

Tonight, the thermometer outside the kitchen window says -11ºC. Don't worry, Finnish houses are well-insulated. We'll snuggle in at a comfortable 22ºC indoors. Cool... 

Taking the driver's seat

All this while, Mr Toh has been driving me. I can now drive Mr Toh.

I passed my driving test in Finland last month and picked up my official licence today.

The journey to the attainment of  my driving licence has been long and sometimes, treacherous. 

It started when I was 18. I gave up after I failed the basic theory test and ran out of money.

Then I met a smart woman who refused to learn to drive so that her husband can't say: "Go, take the car and kids out to the supermarket." When I met HG, I'd thought this was a really great way to engage him in family life. 

My scheme worked. It worked well : D

We bought our first car as we planned to start a family. During my pregnancy(ies), he sent me to/from work, went shopping together, went on outings together, fetched the kids together... you get the idea. Because he was the only one who could drive.

With two kids in tow, moving around without a car is definitely inconvenient. Thank God for the kindness and graciousness of friends who went out of their way to ferry and spend time with us.

Now Finland is not a little island city like Singapore. Public transport does not cover all parts of the country. The nearest bus-stop from our home is 10-minute walk away. Consider this:

Distance = length of legs x number of paces

If the distance stays constant, our two little kiddos need to take many more steps to arrive at our destination. Three of us can take twice as long.

The journey to school/day care centre takes 1 hour by bus (walk-bus-bus-walk) or 10-15 minutes by car. After dropping them off at school, I take as long to come back home. So that's effectively 4 hours on the road. Being able to drive, particularly when HG is out-stationed, is imperative.

I took lessons at Bukit Batok Driving School last year. As I had only 6 months, I had to write letters to the Traffic Police so that I could jump the queue and book early test dates. Ironically, I found out I could accelerate the process from an old friend from JC who had his driving licence suspended because of drunk driving. 

Sadly, I failed my practical test. I was doomed to fail, it seemed, even before the test began.

I was allocated the first slot of the day and had to reach the driving school for a warm-up session at 7.30 am. Since HG was not in Singapore at that time, I had to leave the kids with my parents the night before. Estelle had been running one of her high fevers for a few days so I was feeling very unsettled not taking care of her myself. I didn't call her that morning because she might not have woken up yet.

During the test, I mounted a curb on the obstacle course. As I was driving on the road, my mobile phone rang, and rang, and rang. Three times the phone sang and my mind completely blanked out. At that time of the day, it was probably one of my parents calling about Estelle. True enough, it was my dad calling that Estelle's temperature was very high.

When I walked out of the school, I was still in a daze. It didn't cross my mind to appeal for a re-test or for another date before I leave Singapore. Estelle turned out to be better than the day before and she was playing when I saw her after the test.

Therefore, I arrived in Finland with this issue hanging on the line. Should I pursue a driving licence here or should I wait until I go back to Singapore?

The driving authority in Finland are open-minded yet are careful to ensure they put safe drivers on the road. Ajovarma actually went through all my driving manuals from Singapore before deciding that I should take a theory test and a couple of lessons on night driving and slippery surfaces, after which I could take the practical test.

Driving on slippery surfaces was an amazing experience. Roads on the driving circuit are oiled and I had to drive straight or curved and at different speeds to learn how the car would behave. The car slipped, swung and swerved. I learnt to brake and hold the wheel. Very importantly, I learnt what to expect and how to react if I should slip on ice. 

Deja vu. Did you know our car spun in early December and crashed against a lamp post?

From now on, I'll be driving Mr Toh and the family. For starters, I know how to drive to and from school and Iso Omena*. Driving in winter still makes me jittery but I expect to drive more come spring/summer. 

* Iso Omena is a large shopping centre near the children's school. It has a Singapore link - Capitaland has a 40% stake in it.

When I failed my test in Singapore, I knew there has to be other lessons I need to learn. Comforting myself this way seems self-deprecating and making God a scapegoat. When Christians hit a rough patch, they like to say "God has other plans, God is putting me through a test," etc.

When I told my story to friends after I failed the test, it seemed like a lame excuse. Why didn't I admit I was a poor driver? But I wasn't a bad driver. I believed there was more I had to do as much as I believed that Jesus is God. 

This experience has taught me patience, perseverance and putting down my pride. I learnt that it's ok to doubt and to hold on to faith when I don't fully understand my circumstances or my thoughts. I also had the chance to learn more about Finland, how this country works and what wonderful people it has. 

It's not too late to learn a new skill. I'm happy to be in my mid-thirties and a new driver.