Taking the driver's seat

All this while, Mr Toh has been driving me. I can now drive Mr Toh.

I passed my driving test in Finland last month and picked up my official licence today.

The journey to the attainment of  my driving licence has been long and sometimes, treacherous. 

It started when I was 18. I gave up after I failed the basic theory test and ran out of money.

Then I met a smart woman who refused to learn to drive so that her husband can't say: "Go, take the car and kids out to the supermarket." When I met HG, I'd thought this was a really great way to engage him in family life. 

My scheme worked. It worked well : D

We bought our first car as we planned to start a family. During my pregnancy(ies), he sent me to/from work, went shopping together, went on outings together, fetched the kids together... you get the idea. Because he was the only one who could drive.

With two kids in tow, moving around without a car is definitely inconvenient. Thank God for the kindness and graciousness of friends who went out of their way to ferry and spend time with us.

Now Finland is not a little island city like Singapore. Public transport does not cover all parts of the country. The nearest bus-stop from our home is 10-minute walk away. Consider this:

Distance = length of legs x number of paces

If the distance stays constant, our two little kiddos need to take many more steps to arrive at our destination. Three of us can take twice as long.

The journey to school/day care centre takes 1 hour by bus (walk-bus-bus-walk) or 10-15 minutes by car. After dropping them off at school, I take as long to come back home. So that's effectively 4 hours on the road. Being able to drive, particularly when HG is out-stationed, is imperative.

I took lessons at Bukit Batok Driving School last year. As I had only 6 months, I had to write letters to the Traffic Police so that I could jump the queue and book early test dates. Ironically, I found out I could accelerate the process from an old friend from JC who had his driving licence suspended because of drunk driving. 

Sadly, I failed my practical test. I was doomed to fail, it seemed, even before the test began.

I was allocated the first slot of the day and had to reach the driving school for a warm-up session at 7.30 am. Since HG was not in Singapore at that time, I had to leave the kids with my parents the night before. Estelle had been running one of her high fevers for a few days so I was feeling very unsettled not taking care of her myself. I didn't call her that morning because she might not have woken up yet.

During the test, I mounted a curb on the obstacle course. As I was driving on the road, my mobile phone rang, and rang, and rang. Three times the phone sang and my mind completely blanked out. At that time of the day, it was probably one of my parents calling about Estelle. True enough, it was my dad calling that Estelle's temperature was very high.

When I walked out of the school, I was still in a daze. It didn't cross my mind to appeal for a re-test or for another date before I leave Singapore. Estelle turned out to be better than the day before and she was playing when I saw her after the test.

Therefore, I arrived in Finland with this issue hanging on the line. Should I pursue a driving licence here or should I wait until I go back to Singapore?

The driving authority in Finland are open-minded yet are careful to ensure they put safe drivers on the road. Ajovarma actually went through all my driving manuals from Singapore before deciding that I should take a theory test and a couple of lessons on night driving and slippery surfaces, after which I could take the practical test.

Driving on slippery surfaces was an amazing experience. Roads on the driving circuit are oiled and I had to drive straight or curved and at different speeds to learn how the car would behave. The car slipped, swung and swerved. I learnt to brake and hold the wheel. Very importantly, I learnt what to expect and how to react if I should slip on ice. 

Deja vu. Did you know our car spun in early December and crashed against a lamp post?

From now on, I'll be driving Mr Toh and the family. For starters, I know how to drive to and from school and Iso Omena*. Driving in winter still makes me jittery but I expect to drive more come spring/summer. 

* Iso Omena is a large shopping centre near the children's school. It has a Singapore link - Capitaland has a 40% stake in it.

When I failed my test in Singapore, I knew there has to be other lessons I need to learn. Comforting myself this way seems self-deprecating and making God a scapegoat. When Christians hit a rough patch, they like to say "God has other plans, God is putting me through a test," etc.

When I told my story to friends after I failed the test, it seemed like a lame excuse. Why didn't I admit I was a poor driver? But I wasn't a bad driver. I believed there was more I had to do as much as I believed that Jesus is God. 

This experience has taught me patience, perseverance and putting down my pride. I learnt that it's ok to doubt and to hold on to faith when I don't fully understand my circumstances or my thoughts. I also had the chance to learn more about Finland, how this country works and what wonderful people it has. 

It's not too late to learn a new skill. I'm happy to be in my mid-thirties and a new driver.