Me and my faith

I am inspired to log in this entry after reading some news and blogs on the goings-on of the Aware saga.

I'm not going to say who is right or who is wrong because I don't know. None of the materials paint the whole picture and many writers have already made up their minds about the mechanics of the affair. At this point, it seems that the issue has become a Christianity versus LGBT tussle.

Whenever there is any mention of Aware, the inevitable joke is whether to enrol our men in Amare. Who knows this NGO could whip up such a storm.

Would there be any response from the general public if the new ex-co is made up of LGBT? If Christians react, we are labelled as bigoted fundamentalists. If we keep mum, it shows we condone/accept their lifestyle. Damned if we do, damned if we don't.

The Straits Times asked in a headline, "Will new ex-co impose personal beliefs?" What kind of question is this? Everyone has beliefs. If one joins an organisation which runs counter to his/her belief, this person would 1. protest, 2. leave, or 3. do nothing because it doesn't matter anyway. If options (1) or (2) are taken, this person is named a trouble-maker. 

I remember catching the Singapore debut of Broadway show Rent many years ago. I'd looked forward to it after reading the excellent critiques and listening to one of its hit songs, the one that goes "525 600 minutes..."

DBS had withdrawn its sponsorship due to the show's thorny issues (HIV, drugs, etc) just a week before opening night. Perhaps the troupe wanted to prove their point, their performance wasn't just good technically, their passion and vigour shone through.

However, I finished the show feeling somewhat disgruntled. 

The HIV+ guy, drug addict and bohemian dancer discovered the meaning of life. The normal guy - the one who has a regular job and doesn't dabble in drugs or other unsavoury practices - was still lost, hanging in the air.

The performance ended to a standing ovation. I walked away wondering what's wrong with living life "normally". Does one have to live an alternate lifestyle to truly find oneself?

Outside of my Christian circle, I seldom refer to my "religious beliefs". In my work, I'm a professional journalist; in my home, I'm a loving and responsible mom; socially, I'm a forthcoming and helpful friend. I am not ashamed to tell people I'm Christian, however, I'd like them to like me, the qualities I possess and the values I hold close to my heart. I would like people to ask why I am what I am and hopefully, they will be impressed that Jesus is my God.

I had engaged in long conversations with friends about Christianity, about God. Many times, these talks turned combative, especially when my friend(s) posed questions like "Can God create a rock so big it will kill himself?" By then, I would be terribly frustrated, angry and emotional. I was fed up with my friend and myself because the conversation wasn't constructive, it wasn't leading anywhere and I couldn't express myself adequately to reach a conclusion that satisfied both parties.

Then again, even CS Lewis had to think really long and deep to find answers to such questions.

Age has caught up with me. I have mellowed. Thus a change in strategy (is this an appropriate description?) to share my faith.

Meanwhile, I think it is important for Christians to make friends from all walks of life. Some Christians are really naive about the real world. Did the new AWARE people consider the recoil when they took on the "old guard"? The leaked e-mails leads me to think otherwise.

There is a Chinese saying, "Know yourself and the enemy, and you will win a hundred battles out of hundred." From Sun Tzi, no?