My place in this world

Relocation is not a straightforward choice for many people, especially those with families. To move or not to move?

As the world goes global, so do the people who work in it. Unless one serves only the local market, it is not uncommon to see "some travel required" on a job ad. Some travel more than others. In certain cases, the family goes travelling too.

The Tohs seem to fit in anywhere they go, don't we? Outside Singapore, we have lived in China and now, Finland. 

China is a common place for foreigners to work in, especially in large cities like Shanghai or Beijing. It is often assumed that since we are ethnic Chinese and speak Mandarin, we would have little trouble fitting in to Beijing.

Finland is a different story. It has an extreme climate - up to six months of winter compared to a whole year of heat and humidity in Singapore. We don't speak the language and have little variety with regards to food.

I am thankful that I had spent many years prior to relocating travelling all over the world. As a journalist, I ventured to far-out places to meet people of different countries and cultures in varied forms of transport. I remember visiting a small city is southern China where my colleague and I were so relieved to see McDonald's; here, we knew exactly what we were eating.

This is probably why our family transit smoothly when we relocate. I, the general manager and logistics head of this family, had already clocked experience in a previous job.

I know and have also heard of families, particular the moms, who are struggling in a new country. 

A friend shared with me a mom from Malaysia isn't happy in Singapore. More than one Chinese (from PRC) in Finland have told me they would approach total strangers who looked Asian to ask if they were Chinese too. 

I'd say that the moms are usually bear the brunt of "relocation anxiety". The husbands are busy at work anyway and moms will always try their best to help their kids settle in. Then who will help the moms?

Many moms become disengaged and are left to their own devices. 

The first step is the align our expectations with reality. We have to face the challenges bravely and positively. I try not to compare what is lacking but rather look for solutions, for there will always be one. It may not be the best-case scenario but it's likely to be better than the worst. 

I also think it is important to make friends. My profile is not one of an extrovert but I try to meet new people and learn more about their lives. I found that everyone has an interesting tale to tell and it's fun to discuss our similarities and differences.

Last weekend, we finally connected to our neighbours, after nearly one year. We've so far only greeted each other briefly and on Sunday, we met them outside our home after the kids went cycling. We could have gone home straightaway but we lingered to chat and our kids played together. 

On Monday evening, our neighbour knocked on our door and his son came in to play. Today, our kids rang their bell and all the kids played together outside. What a breakthrough!

There are days when I'm alone and have no one to talk to. Blogging is one of my outlets. Now that it's spring time, I can work in my garden again. Or I'll look up new recipes and try them out on my 3 guinea pigs.

Our stay in Finland may come to a close end of this year. I hope to carry on for a few more years. Why? That's another story. We are also ready to move to a new country or city. At this point, we don't have a destination. I'm confident our family is well taken care of, so we are awaiting further instructions. 

To this end, I would like to share one of my favourite songs. Michael W Smith recently sang this with the Jonas Brothers (you can find it on YouTube) but the screaming girls in the background spoilt it for me. I'm not even going to provide you the link.

Anyway, here is the song.

The wind is moving 

But I am standing still 

A life of pages 

Waiting to be filled 

A heart thats hopeful 

A head that's full of dreams 

But this becoming Is harder than it seems 

Feels like I'm

Chorus: 

Looking for a reason 

Roaming through the night to find 

My place in this world 

My place in this world 

Not a lot to lean on 

I need your light to help me find 

My place in this world 

My place in this world 

If there are millions 

Down on their knees 

Among the many 

Can you still hear me 

Hear me asking 

Where do I belong 

Is there a vision 

That I can call my own 

Show me I'm